[ once upon a time, percy jackson belonged with annabeth chase. but once upon a times are for stories that end, and it's hard for something to end when you can't die, or age. when time stretches on forever and there isn't any growing up, things change. he doesn't know Wonderland's distorting him until it's too late and he's somebody his younger self might not recognize. he isn't a bad person or anything, that isn't what this story's about, it's just that he's an adult in the same body. he looks around and sometimes he wants to scream because nothing looks different except for during events, which he almost chases at this point, for the excitement and the hope that someone they know from home will turn up, that something from home will be here and for a second ( just a second ) he can smell the strawberry fields again, or have some of his mom's blue chocolate chip cookies.
but most days, he isn't that reckless or restless.
most days are pretty okay until they aren't and he turns up on clarisse's doorstep in full-body armor with Riptide and they spar until neither one of them can stand up again. they collapse in a grassy field or the gardens, maybe the forests if it's one of those days where they want nothing to do with the rest of the world, and they stare up at the sky because at least clouds look the same. they talk without really talking, and sometimes percy reaches for her hand and laces their fingers together away from their abandoned weapons and holds onto her like a tether because they're all each other has to remember yesterday. if it wasn't for her, he wonders if he'd remember Manhattan at all. when he kisses her, he hears angry traffic and horns honking, people shouting out their apartment windows for absolutely no reason and kids laughing, dogs barking. if a future version of himself turned up way back when, he never would have believed it if he told him clarisse would be his only comfort.
but he doesn't doubt it now.
he can't. not when the world around them falls apart and he starts to panic because there are too many people and they can't fortify the area fast enough, but she always rounds the corner and shows up with a spear like she means business and she isn't about being afraid or listening to the word no, and she reinforces his confidence. clarisse becomes his other half, the pieces that he's missing, and she fills in his blanks while he compliments her faults, and together he thinks maybe they can survive this place alone. not that he openly blurts all of that to her any chance he gets. he just sometimes finds himself smiling at her without intending to, without any recognition that he's spaced out again and he's daydreaming, thinking of her fondly when she's already next to him. sooner or later, she's going to punch him in the shoulder for it. in fact, she's probably doing that right now but he can't bring himself to care because the sun is shining, the breeze is warm, he can hear the ocean in the distance and she's so beautiful that all of that seems to mean nothing in comparison. ]
[ when clarisse first arrived in wonderland — years ago now, though how many she's lost track of at this point — she always thought wonderland would eventually steal chris away from their universe and that she'd get to be happy just like percy and annabeth, just like frank and hazel. but after the first year of disappointment, she had to learn to let go. war isn't supposed to be happy, anyway, right? she only got lucky with chris back home because she'd saved him from the labyrinth, hadn't she? he probably wouldn't even have noticed her if she hadn't. part of her does still love him now, but after endless years of being in wonderland, she's had to accept that she'll never see him again. and that was probably the worst part in the beginning — it wasn't the events, no, it was the fact that wonderland seemed to be taunting her with every new arrival, with every person from home that wasn't chris or even silena. it made her angry more than anything, and there was a period of time, especially after her first death, that she didn't want anything to do with anyone from home. more than it made her angry at wonderland, it made her angry at herself for not being able to just let them in.
but somewhere along the way, things changed. maybe it was the events fucking with all of them all the time, or maybe she finally just stopped caring about what everyone thought. walls aren't something you can have in wonderland, not for long anyway. percy had been the most persistent, the one with a sledgehammer breaking through the concrete and the iron and the steel frames clarisse never let anyone impenetrate. he isn't chris, but after a while, she realized that's not what she wanted. it might have always been percy as her final destination and chris was just a pitstop on the way. if she'd known when she was fourteen that the kid she tried to flush down the toilet would be the one person she couldn't live without, who would become her anchor in the stormy and unforgiving sea of wonderland, she would have laughed and tried to flush him anyway. the road to where they are now was probably always meant to be turbulent, designed to pit them against each other only to find that they're stronger together — overcoming their differences and learning how they complemented each other's similarities was just one of many obstacles in the course that finally led them to each other.
it was weird, at first, and she has no doubt that the first time they kissed they were both thinking about annabeth, in one way or another. she isn't annabeth, and she never will be, but he wouldn't be with her if he didn't want exactly that — if he didn't want her. she's at least always been able to count on percy to be honest, if nothing else. she never thought she would ever need to count on percy for anything else, but these days he's all she has to keep her from going on an insane suicide mission she probably wouldn't come back from. they both keep each other grounded, and every time she looks into his eyes, she sees home, the lake at camp half-blood, the blue coke he was always so fond of, even the sky over long island sound in the morning during the summer — and just that little glimpse of home, just that little glimpse of him is enough to keep her going for one more day. ]
Yo, Seaweed Brain. [ it was always annabeth's nickname for him, but it's been hard not to adopt it, anyway. he probably only lets her get away with it because she's usually joking whenever she says it, and she has at least let him start to call her clare, which only two other people in existence have ever had permission to call her — the first being silena, where the name originated; the other being chris, who almost always seemed scared to say it, like she was going to punch him for using a pet name silena gave her. she waves her hand on front of percy's face and stares at him expectantly, but amused. ] Earth to Percy. Wonderland, we have a problem. I think we might have lost Perseus. I'm not picking up any signals, just that stupid smile. [ she grins and leans into kiss him. that should bring him back down to earth. their faces remain close, foreheads touching, even when she pulls away from his lips. ] You there?
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hella out of order verse
but most days, he isn't that reckless or restless.
most days are pretty okay until they aren't and he turns up on clarisse's doorstep in full-body armor with Riptide and they spar until neither one of them can stand up again. they collapse in a grassy field or the gardens, maybe the forests if it's one of those days where they want nothing to do with the rest of the world, and they stare up at the sky because at least clouds look the same. they talk without really talking, and sometimes percy reaches for her hand and laces their fingers together away from their abandoned weapons and holds onto her like a tether because they're all each other has to remember yesterday. if it wasn't for her, he wonders if he'd remember Manhattan at all. when he kisses her, he hears angry traffic and horns honking, people shouting out their apartment windows for absolutely no reason and kids laughing, dogs barking. if a future version of himself turned up way back when, he never would have believed it if he told him clarisse would be his only comfort.
but he doesn't doubt it now.
he can't. not when the world around them falls apart and he starts to panic because there are too many people and they can't fortify the area fast enough, but she always rounds the corner and shows up with a spear like she means business and she isn't about being afraid or listening to the word no, and she reinforces his confidence. clarisse becomes his other half, the pieces that he's missing, and she fills in his blanks while he compliments her faults, and together he thinks maybe they can survive this place alone. not that he openly blurts all of that to her any chance he gets. he just sometimes finds himself smiling at her without intending to, without any recognition that he's spaced out again and he's daydreaming, thinking of her fondly when she's already next to him. sooner or later, she's going to punch him in the shoulder for it. in fact, she's probably doing that right now but he can't bring himself to care because the sun is shining, the breeze is warm, he can hear the ocean in the distance and she's so beautiful that all of that seems to mean nothing in comparison. ]
no subject
but somewhere along the way, things changed. maybe it was the events fucking with all of them all the time, or maybe she finally just stopped caring about what everyone thought. walls aren't something you can have in wonderland, not for long anyway. percy had been the most persistent, the one with a sledgehammer breaking through the concrete and the iron and the steel frames clarisse never let anyone impenetrate. he isn't chris, but after a while, she realized that's not what she wanted. it might have always been percy as her final destination and chris was just a pitstop on the way. if she'd known when she was fourteen that the kid she tried to flush down the toilet would be the one person she couldn't live without, who would become her anchor in the stormy and unforgiving sea of wonderland, she would have laughed and tried to flush him anyway. the road to where they are now was probably always meant to be turbulent, designed to pit them against each other only to find that they're stronger together — overcoming their differences and learning how they complemented each other's similarities was just one of many obstacles in the course that finally led them to each other.
it was weird, at first, and she has no doubt that the first time they kissed they were both thinking about annabeth, in one way or another. she isn't annabeth, and she never will be, but he wouldn't be with her if he didn't want exactly that — if he didn't want her. she's at least always been able to count on percy to be honest, if nothing else. she never thought she would ever need to count on percy for anything else, but these days he's all she has to keep her from going on an insane suicide mission she probably wouldn't come back from. they both keep each other grounded, and every time she looks into his eyes, she sees home, the lake at camp half-blood, the blue coke he was always so fond of, even the sky over long island sound in the morning during the summer — and just that little glimpse of home, just that little glimpse of him is enough to keep her going for one more day. ]
Yo, Seaweed Brain. [ it was always annabeth's nickname for him, but it's been hard not to adopt it, anyway. he probably only lets her get away with it because she's usually joking whenever she says it, and she has at least let him start to call her clare, which only two other people in existence have ever had permission to call her — the first being silena, where the name originated; the other being chris, who almost always seemed scared to say it, like she was going to punch him for using a pet name silena gave her. she waves her hand on front of percy's face and stares at him expectantly, but amused. ] Earth to Percy. Wonderland, we have a problem. I think we might have lost Perseus. I'm not picking up any signals, just that stupid smile. [ she grins and leans into kiss him. that should bring him back down to earth. their faces remain close, foreheads touching, even when she pulls away from his lips. ] You there?