[ when clarisse first arrived in wonderland — years ago now, though how many she's lost track of at this point — she always thought wonderland would eventually steal chris away from their universe and that she'd get to be happy just like percy and annabeth, just like frank and hazel. but after the first year of disappointment, she had to learn to let go. war isn't supposed to be happy, anyway, right? she only got lucky with chris back home because she'd saved him from the labyrinth, hadn't she? he probably wouldn't even have noticed her if she hadn't. part of her does still love him now, but after endless years of being in wonderland, she's had to accept that she'll never see him again. and that was probably the worst part in the beginning — it wasn't the events, no, it was the fact that wonderland seemed to be taunting her with every new arrival, with every person from home that wasn't chris or even silena. it made her angry more than anything, and there was a period of time, especially after her first death, that she didn't want anything to do with anyone from home. more than it made her angry at wonderland, it made her angry at herself for not being able to just let them in.
but somewhere along the way, things changed. maybe it was the events fucking with all of them all the time, or maybe she finally just stopped caring about what everyone thought. walls aren't something you can have in wonderland, not for long anyway. percy had been the most persistent, the one with a sledgehammer breaking through the concrete and the iron and the steel frames clarisse never let anyone impenetrate. he isn't chris, but after a while, she realized that's not what she wanted. it might have always been percy as her final destination and chris was just a pitstop on the way. if she'd known when she was fourteen that the kid she tried to flush down the toilet would be the one person she couldn't live without, who would become her anchor in the stormy and unforgiving sea of wonderland, she would have laughed and tried to flush him anyway. the road to where they are now was probably always meant to be turbulent, designed to pit them against each other only to find that they're stronger together — overcoming their differences and learning how they complemented each other's similarities was just one of many obstacles in the course that finally led them to each other.
it was weird, at first, and she has no doubt that the first time they kissed they were both thinking about annabeth, in one way or another. she isn't annabeth, and she never will be, but he wouldn't be with her if he didn't want exactly that — if he didn't want her. she's at least always been able to count on percy to be honest, if nothing else. she never thought she would ever need to count on percy for anything else, but these days he's all she has to keep her from going on an insane suicide mission she probably wouldn't come back from. they both keep each other grounded, and every time she looks into his eyes, she sees home, the lake at camp half-blood, the blue coke he was always so fond of, even the sky over long island sound in the morning during the summer — and just that little glimpse of home, just that little glimpse of him is enough to keep her going for one more day. ]
Yo, Seaweed Brain. [ it was always annabeth's nickname for him, but it's been hard not to adopt it, anyway. he probably only lets her get away with it because she's usually joking whenever she says it, and she has at least let him start to call her clare, which only two other people in existence have ever had permission to call her — the first being silena, where the name originated; the other being chris, who almost always seemed scared to say it, like she was going to punch him for using a pet name silena gave her. she waves her hand on front of percy's face and stares at him expectantly, but amused. ] Earth to Percy. Wonderland, we have a problem. I think we might have lost Perseus. I'm not picking up any signals, just that stupid smile. [ she grins and leans into kiss him. that should bring him back down to earth. their faces remain close, foreheads touching, even when she pulls away from his lips. ] You there?
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but somewhere along the way, things changed. maybe it was the events fucking with all of them all the time, or maybe she finally just stopped caring about what everyone thought. walls aren't something you can have in wonderland, not for long anyway. percy had been the most persistent, the one with a sledgehammer breaking through the concrete and the iron and the steel frames clarisse never let anyone impenetrate. he isn't chris, but after a while, she realized that's not what she wanted. it might have always been percy as her final destination and chris was just a pitstop on the way. if she'd known when she was fourteen that the kid she tried to flush down the toilet would be the one person she couldn't live without, who would become her anchor in the stormy and unforgiving sea of wonderland, she would have laughed and tried to flush him anyway. the road to where they are now was probably always meant to be turbulent, designed to pit them against each other only to find that they're stronger together — overcoming their differences and learning how they complemented each other's similarities was just one of many obstacles in the course that finally led them to each other.
it was weird, at first, and she has no doubt that the first time they kissed they were both thinking about annabeth, in one way or another. she isn't annabeth, and she never will be, but he wouldn't be with her if he didn't want exactly that — if he didn't want her. she's at least always been able to count on percy to be honest, if nothing else. she never thought she would ever need to count on percy for anything else, but these days he's all she has to keep her from going on an insane suicide mission she probably wouldn't come back from. they both keep each other grounded, and every time she looks into his eyes, she sees home, the lake at camp half-blood, the blue coke he was always so fond of, even the sky over long island sound in the morning during the summer — and just that little glimpse of home, just that little glimpse of him is enough to keep her going for one more day. ]
Yo, Seaweed Brain. [ it was always annabeth's nickname for him, but it's been hard not to adopt it, anyway. he probably only lets her get away with it because she's usually joking whenever she says it, and she has at least let him start to call her clare, which only two other people in existence have ever had permission to call her — the first being silena, where the name originated; the other being chris, who almost always seemed scared to say it, like she was going to punch him for using a pet name silena gave her. she waves her hand on front of percy's face and stares at him expectantly, but amused. ] Earth to Percy. Wonderland, we have a problem. I think we might have lost Perseus. I'm not picking up any signals, just that stupid smile. [ she grins and leans into kiss him. that should bring him back down to earth. their faces remain close, foreheads touching, even when she pulls away from his lips. ] You there?