she was afraid to come out of the locker / she was as nervous as she could be

[scaredycat]

[Chuck doesn't hate swimming, but it certainly makes her nervous. (Then again, what doesn't make her nervous?) She just doesn't like how heavy her lungs feel underwater or the inevitable pressure to jump off something high or getting coerced into going on some crazy waterslide. But today she's feeling even more anxious than usual because this isn't a waterpark in Deluxe and she isn't with her summer camp group who knows she's a girl. This is Motorcity and she's with the Burners and Mike and no one knows she's a girl. Not even Mike. She just hasn't had the courage to tell him... It wouldn't even really be a problem considering this isn't Kane's sexist fascist dictatorship and she doesn't have to lie about her gender to do what she loves, but...

But she can't go out in this.

She checks the lock on the door for the tenth time, just to make sure it is locked. She doesn't want Mike barging in because they're bros and "he's" been in here way too long and the guys are waiting come on Chuckles what are you even doing in there.

She stares at herself dejectedly, the reflection in the mirror showing her everything she wishes she could be. Some days all she really wants is to be able to hang out with Julie and Claire and be a girl, paint her nails and talk about boys—honestly, she just wants to be friends with Claire, not date her, but she has to pretend she does because Mike thinks she does and he obviously just wants her to be happy but he doesn't realize that's she's already happy. When she's with him. Even if they aren't... a thing.

But there is absolutely no way she can just walk out of the changing room like this, not with Mike standing there expecting her to come out in swim trunks or anything that isn't 100% feminine. And what would everyone else think? She doesn't want to find out, not yet.]

Just— Just go without me!

Comments

[breakthesoundbarrier]

[Today? Today is going to be fun. This place has slides, and he's probably going to end up racing Texas across the water. And swimming in Motorcity is probably more fun than swimming in Deluxe regardless of other factors-- no rigid diving rules or glaring, grumpy lifeguards. And shirtless Chuck, but that's a side bonus to the fun. Mike's never been one to let attraction get in the way of group outings, and he doesn't want to make his friend uncomfortable either way. It's a bit of a downer that Chuck's into girls, but it's important to roll with it, because the guy spooks easily and he doesn't want to rule himself out as the primary support system.]

[But that doesn't keep him from playing the concerned best friend and checking up on him. Really, that's entirely expected of him, because he's usually the one to tend to Chuck's various anxieties and... pretty much everything else that goes on with him. It'd hurt a little to find out that he honestly didn't know everything about the guy, because seriously, how'd he missed the LARPing thing? He's stopped taking his knowledge of his best friend for granted after that, because it's never good to assume you know everything about someone, that gets you blindsided.]

[He knocks on the door to the changing room, smiling to himself, still pondering on what stroke he should use to overcome Texas' advantage in any races.]

Come on, Chuckles, it won't be as much fun without you!

[Chuck hadn't mentioned not knowing how to swim, but that wouldn't be too hard to get around. The rest of the group wouldn't really be surprised by that, and they could easily have him chill in the shallow end if need be.]

[scaredycat]

[Chuck stares at her reflection for a few more seconds, fidgeting with the top half of the swimsuit. Even if everyone did know, there's no way she could pull this off. She doesn't exactly... fill out in the right places. She's just a lanky nerd with hardly any boobs and practically zero hips. It's how she can pull of boy so well with the right kind of undershirt.

She laughs nervously, high-pitched and trembling, remaining unconvinced that this little trip would be anything but fun regardless of her gender issue.]

Hahaha, yeah... "fun"...

[But she knows she won't be able to get out of this. Some way or the other, Mike will convince her to come with them. Honestly, all he really has to do is give her that look—the one where he's trying not to look disappointed but he totally is. It just makes her feel guilty because she's survived an army of Kanebots with crazy amounts of lasers and the Detroit Doom Jump with him so anything else pales in danger comparison.

She takes a deep breath and pokes her head carefully out of the door so only her head is poking out. Her bangs are still pushed back and clipped on top of her head because she likes trying clothes on with her bangs out of her face, but she doesn't want Mike seeing the ruffley swimsuit she's wearing just yet. She's decided now is probably a good time to tell him she's... a she, but she's hesitating in just ripping the band-aid off so to speak.]

Mikey... I can't. I mean...

[Okay, Chuck, you can do it. She swallows, throat suddenly dry, but forces the words out.]

I—I need to tell you something.