[Oh my god you're terrible. Dick pulls him out of the water but then lets go, expecting him to get his footing and stand and make some sort of remark or maybe just a hilarious face. But no. He gets nothing. Instead he sees the redhead fall right back down into the water and he's thinking ohshitohshitohshitwally and he's grabbing him again and pulling him above water.]
Wally this isn't freaking funny, stop it.
[Cue intense freak out when his bro doesn't answer, and suddenly he's in panic mode. He looks to the beach and sees that they're actually alone - while that might be fun when they're actually, you know, having fun, it's proving to be detrimental. So instead he uses his adrenaline-pumped self to haul Wally back up on the shore, pulling him just out of the water and laying him down on the sand, checking pulse and breathing because ohshit.]
I swear I'm going to murder you if this is some kind of joke. Dude. Dude come on, wake up.
[So there's a heartbeat, which is going at a kind of normal speed for a speedster, thus making Dick freak out just a bit more. But no breathing. Pulse but no breathing, okay, Bruce taught him how to deal with this. It's no big deal. Giving your bro CPR when he's about to die is totally normal. Totally. So much so that Dick doesn't even think about it. Situate the body, open the airway, chest compressions, mouth to mouth, listen. Repeat. He's not sure how long he just keeps repeating the motions until a flash of panic and Fuck why didn't you call 911 when KF coughs, and oh god, he's alive.]
[The relief that floods him at that moment is so great he can't be held responsible for what will happen for the next few moments. He can't. And it might take a minute before the fact he just gave Wally mouth to mouth sinks in.]
[and oh god, do not have an appropriate icon for this.]
[Yeah, and now Wally's just coughing. A lot. But he's okay. And sitting up, trying to breathe normally again. He's not even really sure what just happened until he sees Dick and a flood of realization washes over him and oh god—]
—I almost drowned, didn't I. [And it's not even a question because he knows and god he should really never be allowed in the ocean ever again.]
[And he stops, eyes wide, because that is the moment it finally sinks in and oh god. Oh god oh god oh god now he's turning bright red and this could seriously not be any more embarrassing]
[But somehow I don't think Dick could possibly be redder than Wally. Because I mean, ginger. It's like, amplified. And he's just sort of staring for a moment, then looking away awkwardly, then maybe coughing a little because, yeah... this is pretty much the crowning moment of awkward.]
Oh. Uh. Thanks, man... [Very indiscreetly glancing back to Dick, who is still blushing—which almost makes him go redder, if that's even possible. His brain is pretty much reeling and he's trying not to imagine what just happened, but he's finding it very, very difficult, and then he's absentmindedly touching his lips, and he's fighting every urge to just get up and run— AND GOD, DICK, SAY SOMETHING, PLEASE.]
[This is like some sick cycle of awkward because of course seeing Wally turn bright red - and yes, much redder than Dick himself - only makes him, well, redder. So instead he averts his gaze, cause how do you look your best friend in the eye after something like that? And smiles, weakly.]
It's...no problem. None at all.
[And yeah, totally not feeling the aster. Time to get out.] So...um...yeah. We're not going to try that again. [One more laugh on the weak side and then he's standing up, just putting some distance between them, and looking down at Wally. Wally who could have just died. And he holds out his hand to help him up. Just move on, Dick. Act cool. Act like your stomach isn't twisting itself inside out.] C'mon, dude, we should probably make sure you didn't sustain any permanent brain damage.
[Okay, okay, he's got this. He's cool. Grabbing Dick's hand like nothing's wrong, like Dick hadn't basically kissed him back to life. I mean, it was just CPR, a totally normal thing—it's... not like it meant anything. So yeah, he's cool now, and back to his normal smug self.] Dude, shut up, I'm fine. [He thinks for a moment, trying to do some crazy calculation in his head.] Yeah, I think if I can still do calculus in my head, I'm good.
[Okay, that makes him laugh. There's regular Kid Dork, who he knows and lo-is his bro. Totally his bro.]
Alright good, cause I don't want to have to explain to Kaldur why you're slower than normal. Nerd.
[And now...what do they do? Since the water is a little off-limits and all now with KF forgetting how to swim and all. No, okay, think Dick. Think because if you don't come up with an idea this is going to get awkward all over again...]
[Yep, that just came out of his mouth and he doesn't even realize that's the first time he's said it out loud and that the first time he ever said it it was an insult. A playful insult, but an insult nonetheless. And he just looks totally unfazed like he'd said "jerk" instead.]
[Laughs, elbowing back just as playfully, narrowing his eyes at the name but smiling none the less. If anyone else was around, he migght get mad. He might be worried that his name would get passed around and Batman would find out he told Wally, which he wasn't supposed to, and they both would get in trouble.]
[But maybe he likes the sound of it coming from his best friend. Not Robin, not the superhero/sidekick/whatever he was. No, his name. Him.]
Well, now we're even. If you can really call my mother and Bruce Wayne even...
[And he's just gonna keep laughing because the idea of Bruce Wayne and Mary West in the same room chastising their respective children with their full names is just hilarious for some reason.]
Dude? I think if anyone could scare Batman it would be my mother when she's angry... I mean, I seriously hope she never wants to have a "talk with the principal" sort of thing.
[And he didn't even think it was possible, but he laughs harder. His abs are pretty much exploding right now.]
OhmygodDickI'mdying—
[The name just sort of slipped out, but he doesn't even care, because in this moment they are just Dick and Wally, and it's only natural to call your best friend by his real name.]
[It doesn't even bother him. In fact, he doesn't even notice, because this, all of this, is what he wants. What he really, really wants. And he laughs with him, reaching out and holding onto Wally's shoulder to support him as he hunches over, stomach clenching]
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Wally this isn't freaking funny, stop it.
[Cue intense freak out when his bro doesn't answer, and suddenly he's in panic mode. He looks to the beach and sees that they're actually alone - while that might be fun when they're actually, you know, having fun, it's proving to be detrimental. So instead he uses his adrenaline-pumped self to haul Wally back up on the shore, pulling him just out of the water and laying him down on the sand, checking pulse and breathing because ohshit.]
I swear I'm going to murder you if this is some kind of joke. Dude. Dude come on, wake up.
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[and oh god, do not have an appropriate icon for this.]
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—I almost drowned, didn't I. [And it's not even a question because he knows and god he should really never be allowed in the ocean ever again.]
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Oh. Uh. Thanks, man... [Very indiscreetly glancing back to Dick, who is still blushing—which almost makes him go redder, if that's even possible. His brain is pretty much reeling and he's trying not to imagine what just happened, but he's finding it very, very difficult, and then he's absentmindedly touching his lips, and he's fighting every urge to just get up and run— AND GOD, DICK, SAY SOMETHING, PLEASE.]
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It's...no problem. None at all.
[And yeah, totally not feeling the aster. Time to get out.] So...um...yeah. We're not going to try that again. [One more laugh on the weak side and then he's standing up, just putting some distance between them, and looking down at Wally. Wally who could have just died. And he holds out his hand to help him up. Just move on, Dick. Act cool. Act like your stomach isn't twisting itself inside out.] C'mon, dude, we should probably make sure you didn't sustain any permanent brain damage.
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Alright good, cause I don't want to have to explain to Kaldur why you're slower than normal. Nerd.
[And now...what do they do? Since the water is a little off-limits and all now with KF forgetting how to swim and all. No, okay, think Dick. Think because if you don't come up with an idea this is going to get awkward all over again...]
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[Yep, that just came out of his mouth and he doesn't even realize that's the first time he's said it out loud and that the first time he ever said it it was an insult. A playful insult, but an insult nonetheless. And he just looks totally unfazed like he'd said "jerk" instead.]
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[But maybe he likes the sound of it coming from his best friend. Not Robin, not the superhero/sidekick/whatever he was. No, his name. Him.]
Wallace.
[He says, as if it's an insult in and of itself.]
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Oh God, why, man. You sound like my mother.
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Dude, don't compare me to your mother. Not cool. [But he's still laughing and shaking his head a bit.]
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[Yeah, sorry, dude, it's only fair.]
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Well, now we're even. If you can really call my mother and Bruce Wayne even...
[And he's just gonna keep laughing because the idea of Bruce Wayne and Mary West in the same room chastising their respective children with their full names is just hilarious for some reason.]
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Dude, I don't know which would be scarier...
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Dude? I think if anyone could scare Batman it would be my mother when she's angry... I mean, I seriously hope she never wants to have a "talk with the principal" sort of thing.
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[Laughter is way contagious, okay? And his sides are starting to hurt.]
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Alfred... gets mad? I didn't even think that was possible.
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Yeah, mostly at Bruce. But it's so funny cause...Bruce just backs down. Immediately.
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OhmygodDickI'mdying—
[The name just sort of slipped out, but he doesn't even care, because in this moment they are just Dick and Wally, and it's only natural to call your best friend by his real name.]
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Wallystop...stopohmygodIcan't...Ican'tevenbreath...
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100TH COMMENT AWW YEAA
AW SHIT SON
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lol almost a month later
it's never too late
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