( i am unknowable. )

[cabeswatered]

an adam parrish open post
① leave a prompt! ② ??? ③ profit!

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i almost feel like i've used this prompt before but o well

[topsiders]

[cabeswatered]

[ adam is awake when the call comes -- these days he always is. but it isn't necessarily for gansey that adam stays awake, even if adam would like to believe that were true. it's happenstance more than it is anything else, but adam likes, sometimes, to think that he isn't awake because he works three jobs and gets home at the same time a normal person would be going to bed -- and then still has homework on top of that that he can't afford not to do, unlike some people (ronan). maybe that's why gansey calls, because he knows adam will always pick up, because when have either of them ever gone to bed at a decent hour since they've known each other? he wonders if that means gansey has come to count on him or if their late night phone calls are simply a coincidence of their mutual insomnia. adam certainly thinks better of gansey, that he always calls with a purpose, but he doesn't necessarily think the best of himself. ]

[ they don't always talk about much, or hardly anything at all. sometimes it's enough, just to listen to the sound of the other breathing. but tonight gansey seems to be on a mission and adam is too tired to change the subject. more and more often, his nights have been consumed with welsh kings when he should be focusing on english or math, but there's almost something comforting about it, something inspiring about the fervor in gansey's voice that adam isn't quite sure how he manages at half past midnight. he's not even sure he'd been fully paying attention until gansey asks if he's still there, if he'd heard what gansey said. he nearly startles himself when he starts rattling off everything he wasn't sure he actually heard -- and then there's a breathy laugh from the other end of the line and adam trails off, managing a weak laugh himself. ]

[ maybe it's just from adam's recap that gansey realized he'd been talking too much. adam never minds. he could listen to gansey go on and on for hours and relish simply in the sound of his voice -- the kind of voice adam wishes he had, the calm confidence of someone who knows exactly what he wants, the assured intelligence of a boy whose honor and worth has never been questioned a day in his life. gansey's cool, smooth voice would never betray him for what he really is, because his voice is what he is. what else is there to give away about richard campbell gansey iii? adam can hear the low, subtle hint of his own accent trying to creep its way into his intonation, the inflection of every word he tries to keep neutral. he isn't sure why it's so important to him to do so even around gansey, who has never once seen him as lesser for it, but it's a private shame adam can't quite shake, even after all this time. ]

[ lost in his own head, he almost misses when gansey asks if adam would like to go for a drive, and adam almost says "gansey, i don't have a car," until he realizes gansey obviously means he'll be picking adam up. he doesn't know what else to say but yes. (when has he ever been able to say no to gansey on nights like these?) they let each other go and adam sits in silence, staring blankly at the rest of his homework that will end up going unfinished until morning, until the familiar roar of the pig prompts him to grab his jacket and leave the smallness of his apartment behind. the pig is smaller, of course, but sitting next to gansey always makes him feel like something grand is about to happen. where is gansey taking him? what are they doing? ]

[ they drive out of town, and then farther still, until the stars in the sky seem to be the only things illuminating the road, especially when gansey finally stops and the pig's headlights go out, leaving just the two of them and the open road. trees surround them on either side, and for a moment adam wonders where they are, but he finds that it doesn't really matter when gansey is next to him, and even in the dim light he can make out the line of gansey's jaw, the ridge of his nose -- and that ever present scent of mint leaves. was there a reason for this? or did gansey just want to get out of monmouth for a while? adam has a million questions, but he can only seem to settle on one: ]

What about Blue? [ a self-destructive question, maybe, but if this is what adam thinks -- wants -- it to be, doesn't he have to be sure? it didn't work between him and blue. why should it work between him and gansey, when blue has always been between them? it's better to let himself down than to get his hopes up. maybe it isn't even anything, and he'll just look like an ass. that would be the best case scenario, he thinks, but then he catches gansey's gaze, and he can't help but think he's wrong. ]