( once and future king. )

[medievals]

an arthur pendragon open post

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daddy arthur.

[chambermaid]

[medievals]

[ there are a lot of feelings that come with hearing that gwen is pregnant. excitement, definitely, first and foremost -- he's going to be a father, why wouldn't that be cause for excitement of the utmost degree? but then there's fear, a sinking sense of dread, of doubt -- what kind of father will he be? will he be like his father? will he be good enough to raise a child? should he? then there's an underlying sadness to it all, somehow, inexplicably, because even after all this time, arthur still misses uther and he still wishes to make him proud. would he be proud? arthur hasn't forgotten the ghost of his father trying to murder gwen, the vitriol he'd spewed about arthur's reign and the decisions he'd made to make camelot better. it's been years since then, but the wound still remains, the insecurity, the feeling that he never will be good enough in the eyes of his father because he chose not to be like his father. ]

[ he wonders, in the quiet hours of the night, with gwen sleeping soundly next to him, if he'll set a good example for their child, if they'll look up to him and come to him for guidance, if they'll trust him, if they'll love him, most of all -- but more than any of that, he wonders if he'll be proud, or if he'll end up like his father, expecting too much and refusing to look change in the face, always afraid of the past coming to haunt him. except arthur has the one thing his father never had -- friends. arthur surrounds himself with people who make him stronger, who make him strive to be better because they are the ones worth fighting for. arthur won't let himself be afraid of the future, not when he has merlin and gwen and the knights at his side. even if arthur doesn't believe in himself or the kind of man he is or the kind of father he will be, he knows they will always believe in him and they will always see the goodness arthur can't always see for himself. ]

[ he expects a son, of course, but he can't say he's disappointed when merlin rushes out of his and gwen's bedchambers to wildly announce it's a girl, arthur, it's a girl! somehow, arthur is less stunned by the gender of his child and more so by the fact that his first reaction is to stop pacing and embrace merlin more enthusiastically than he ever has in his life. (he can count on one hand just how many times this has happened, but he supposes the birth of the next child of a pendragon should be cause enough for a hug, even from a king.) the next few moments are harder for him to remember, if only because they rushed by so fast -- merlin dragging him into see gwen, who still managed to look stunning regardless of the toils of childbirth; tears welling up in his eyes at the sight of his daughter (kings don't cry, except maybe just this once) -- but he could never forget the tiniest squeeze of his finger, the brightness of his daughter's eyes, the smiles that never seemed to leave anyone's faces. how could he not be proud? ]

[ a celebration is to be had all the next day, with grand feasts and a festival in honor of the new princess of camelot -- but for tonight, the entourage of servants and friends alike leaves them be, the king and queen and the tiny life they created together. arthur couldn't be happier. he's not sure he ever could. ]

She's going to need a name. [ arthur has her cradled in his arms, reverently, delicately. she's so small, he feels like she could break at any moment. and yet -- even just her tiny fist grasping his fingers seems like it could rival even percival's grip. for something so small, he knows she must be destined for much bigger, greater things. she's a pendragon, after all. ] Did we ever agree on one?

[chambermaid]

[gwen, on the other hand, had every confidence in Arthur's ability to be a good father, just as she had been about his ability to be a good man, a good king despite the shadow of his father. arthur was nothing like uther, he was fair and just, he was beloved by all of camelot because of it. and yet, she saw the fretful looks arthur sometimes gave the round of her belly, the way his jaw worked in concentration and she knew him. she knew that he worried, that he was afraid of who he might become, of what sort of father he will be.

she reassures him as best she can whenever he expresses any outward doubts. the people he surrounds himself with are a testament to who he is as a man, of how he will continue to be as a king, how he will be as a man, a father. and when the day comes, there is not one stitch of doubt about any of those things. oh, no there is barely room for anything other than what is happening.

it is not a particularly easy birth, it seems their child is a pendragon in her stubbornness. and by the time she arrives to the world, a scrawling bundle of life, gwen is exhausted. but moreover, she is happy. in love. the moment she holds their daughter (a surprise given arthur's confidence otherwise) in her arms, she is smitten. suddenly there is another person in this world that she would give up everything, her life to protect, to love, to be with. and it takes the rush of seeing arthur scramble into the room with tears in his eyes for her to let go of the baby in her arms, relinquishing her to arthur as the room is cleared out and gaius makes sure that gwen has all she needs, that she is truly alright.

mother and baby are both healthy but exhausted, being born is just as difficult as giving birth, it seems. and as arthur holds their daughter, she's already calmed down, already starting find it difficult to keep her eyes open despite the interesting new world around her, not that her eyes can truly focus on one thing yet.

gwen smiles at him, still breathless from every bit of this moment as he asks after their daughter's name.] You were quite convinced she was a boy. [ so they only really discussed boy's names. and well, gwen had a girl's name in the back of her mind, one she wasn't sure if he would like or if it would hurt him to suggestion it. her eyes lift to meet with his after looking at the delicate little girl in his arms.] I have one... [ she smiles gently, hopefully.] Ygraine.